Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down -6

if it's friday, it must be China

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

if u r not my friend, like this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hi poop!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

69

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops