Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

Yo mama so fat she died

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

9:11 make a wish

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

W.N.B.A.

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

What's big and black? A black fridge.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...