One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -71

A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

thumb_up thumb_down +68

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Women Drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops