A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Why Because

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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