What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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Golf.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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