Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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