Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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Penis

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What does a man like. food.

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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