what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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