A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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My mom's dead

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Water, please.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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drugs.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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