The glass is half an hour.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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. Deez nuts Ok

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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want to go home? yea

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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Bing

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What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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