What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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My sister has to take a dump

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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