In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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What is Jason? Black.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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your momma's an antijoke

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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The outside of my house is painted yellow.

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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