What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Obamacare!

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

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This post contains NOTHING.

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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I am a real homosexual

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops