Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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The WNBA

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69

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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Golf.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Women rights.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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