A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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I won the game.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops