Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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