What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Real jokes.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Women's rights

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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