What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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Shit.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Brett Farve

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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anus soup

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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