My dad beats my mom At checkers

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Baseball

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops