Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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alcoholism kills

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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Kate

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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