What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

ewrg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ain't idn't a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops