Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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