Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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