So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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