The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops