Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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