Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

Three Black men smash windows to enter a house. They're firemen and are rescuing a young child...

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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