What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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