Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops