Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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