What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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