What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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