Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops