If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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