A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

I'm rick james bitch

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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