Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops