Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops