What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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