Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

Click here for free sandwich.

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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