If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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One, two, three, four and five

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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