How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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no really what are ur names?

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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