Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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