Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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