Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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pobody's nerfect

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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