I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

Death by kayak

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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