What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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swag

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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