Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops