Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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