What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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time to spruce up!

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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