Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops