Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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