how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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I have a really funny joke.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops