An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

Tunechi

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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