Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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