What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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